A lot of people told Nicholas Cage not to take up this movie. They said: “Nick, this is a controversial movie. People don’t like seeing movies that glorify road rage. This might be a no-go.”
To which our hero Nicholas Cage stated:
“Hey, I’m not getting any younger. Madoff took all my money. I need money. I’ve definitely appeared in worse. Plus, I can relate to the plot line.”
In ‘Drive Angry’, our hero (creatively named Milton after Nicholas Cage’s admiration for Milton Friedman’s work in the field of economics) escapes from Hell which was his last film “Season of the Witch”. Apparently hell is a fairly easy place to get out of and Milton leaves with little fuss.
Once he leaves, he is pursued by one of Hell’s most prominent minions, Bob from Accounting (played by David Cross). Bob has worked in accounting since Lucifer rebelled against God. Responsible for purchasing office supplies for the 5th, 6th and 7th rings of hell, he’s angered by Milton’s actions. For, unknown to Milton, Bob was about to help all of the offices in Hell go green to receive a tax benefit. So with Milton’s departure, all hell has broken loose. Now Bob’s going to have to fill out the necessary paperwork all over again and get Satan (played by Billy Bob Thornton) to help out. In multiple close-ups of his face, he shows his dissatisfaction with his wife of eleven centuries (played by Danny Devito). Has their marriage grown boring, their sex routine stale? It is implied Milton’s escape has impeded their efforts at reconciliation, for which Milton allegedly will pay.
Milton has important work up on the surface. Upon arriving on Earth in Camden, New Jersey (known as ‘Hell’s Anus’) he manages to hotwire a car sitting in an Arby’s parking lot, stopping momentarily to get a delicious Mocha shake. Driving quite angrily, he makes it to the US-Manitoba border. A vicious motorcycle gang-cult is intent on creating a World War to usher in a new era without technology, so they may be one with nature yet again. Somehow this plan involves murdering his infant daughter. They’d already murdered one of Milton’s daughters, which he was cool with, but murdering another one of his children felt like a bit much.
Winnipeg translates to ‘a frozen shithole’ in the original Norse. That fact is not lost on Milton who realizes just what a hell-like situation he’s created. Finally understanding if he dies he goes back to hell, he tries to live a healthier life by biking in the afternoon and becoming a vegan. He also helps his situation by having vast quantities of sex with naked women and disemboweling his enemies. Disemboweling sets off Bob’s tracker as he drives past a seedy Motel.
Leaving just in time, Milton avoids the cruel hand of Bob’s wrath for now. Satan is getting angry, getting upset at Bob’s inability to find Milton and bring him to justice. Also, Satan drops hints that he might be demoted or might lose his dental plan. Bob’s feeling the pressure now, and works with the motorcycle-gang cult headed by Seth, the God of War (played by Will Ferrell).
Together the two of them begin working to thwart Milton. Citing the practice of Synergy, they come up with a few plans. First, they try to trap Milton by inviting him to a whorehouse. As Milton will get turned on, they time how long it will take Milton to finish. Off of this, they’ve created a device which will grind him up. Unknown to either of them, Milton is poor as hell and usually picks up women off of dating sites of ill-repute. He’d never fall for their plan.
Using Milton’s penchant for driving angry, they try to capture him by creating a traffic jam. Knowing how angry Milton gets at being stuck in traffic, they figure he will lose his mind, driving in a rampage and get shot by a couple of heavily armed Canadian Mounties. Right as Milton is about to lose it, he remembers he needs to stay calm to save his daughter hoping she doesn’t get totally murdered.
Finally confronting the motorcycle-cult biker gang, he successfully defeats them. Milton is brought back to hell, but under the assurance his infant daughter will be protected by Satan. Satan, true to his word, raises Lucy as if he was his own daughter, later sending her to art school in Manhattan, even paying most of her tuition.
This movie makes one question the fight between good and evil. Directed by Tommy Wiseau, it has an inordinate amount of sex scenes. Some of them rank as his best sex scenes, and they inspire all of us to aim for greater things in life, like having more sex. For fans of Nicholas Cage, I’m sorry to inform you that a ‘stunt penis’ has been used for all of the sex scenes.
I’m still moved by some of the exquisitely shot landscapes of Manitoba, which has since seen an increase in tourism. Nickelback’s soundtrack works wonders and instills a truly timeless quality to the film. Please see this movie if you want to see our generation’s Ronald Reagan (via awful actor who will later become our President).