Rachel’s – Handwriting 9.4

                If I have a weakness, it is for anything Post-Rock or Louisville-Kentucky related. By merging two of my obsessions together, I’m pretty much satisfied. Rachel’s not only does those two, but incorporates a pure somber classical influence as well. Thus, I think I found a band almost tailor-made to my experiences as a child and teenager thrown into one big group.

                The songs on here have verve, soul and run the gamut from severe to humorous, often within the same song “M. Daguerre” being a prime example. It starts off in a drunken jazz haze, with oboe and vibraphone. A jaunty piano joins them, as does a light-hearted drum. 

                Formed in the early 90s, very few if any bands decided “Hey, let’s play rock with classical instruments”. You’ll see the guitar, a drum, on the long-length song “Full On Night” but otherwise it is pretty much pure classical. Samples of trains passing by overwhelm the end.

                Actually, this works well as winter depression music. Everything on here is moody and pretty dark. Really, the trio did a pretty good job of keeping out the light. The connection with former short-lived band Rodan (not fun people, great band) confirms this. 

                No one should listen to this during a warm, sun-filled summer day. This is music to listen to while things “seem bleak” and you’re not sure of yourself. Listen to at night, in the dark, while your heat is broken. That’s what kind of music it is.

A Mix CD for Glenn Beck

Glenn Beck plays an emotionally unstable teenager on television. People watch him out of the hope that he will ‘lose it’ on the air. Sadly for them, Glenn only cries like a small child all the time. Most of the time he’s predicting some sort of catastrophe based off of what tea leaves on the bottom of a cup tells him. After he’s done crying (crying usually takes up half the air time) he teaches the audience 5^th history, including such unknown historical figures like George Washington and Benjamin Franklin. Beck states how these people probably would support his efforts today before making several voices and passing out from sheer insanity. Those who watch him consider his word to be pure “genius” despite the fact that he never even went to college or displays anything popularly known as ‘intelligence’.

I worry about Glenn. Each time he’s on TV or being interviewed, he’s always getting really vulnerable, talking about how he used to be an alcoholic and doing a ton of drugs. But now that he’s overcome his failings, he feels it is his right to not allow anyone else on Earth any sort of leeway

.

Below is a playlist I’ve created that might help Glenn through this difficult period in his life called “his actual life” Maybe when he listens to it, he can finally relax with some diet soda as he pretends to rock out. 

1.       Galaxie 500 – Fourth of July

Since Glenn loves America so much, this might do the trick for him. I can imagine him playing air guitar at the end, as he bops his head up and down in front of a fan, to give the illusion that he is bringing down the house.

2.       The Pixies – Havalina

I think that Glenn Beck probably has a soft spot in his heart for the Pixies. They were around while his life was total garbage. Plus, he can then imagine being chased by the pigs in Washington (that’s what the song is about, kind of).

3.       Low – Words

Yeah, Low will reach his very soul. Perhaps this song will make him cry, as he realizes that they embody all that is good with slowcore. They are Mormons just like him, and they understand what he’s going through, that is, if they had a TV show and made millions of dollars a year.

4.       Rodan – Tooth Fairy Retribution Manifesto

Whenever I think of the words “paranoid”, “uncomfortable” and “American”, Rodan comes to mind. Glenn feels like the tooth fairy. He takes away our ignorance and leaves pure country-fried wisdoms under our pillows, along with nightmares. 

5.       Shellac – Dog and Pony Show

Up to this point, there’s been less anger. Steve Albini is probably the only indie rock musician capable of reaching Beck’s seething, misdirected rage. Plus, there’s talk of being a preacher, which is something Glenn most currently thinks of himself as, so I know he’ll enjoy this.

6.       Thinking Fellers Union Local 282 – The Operation

Yes, I know it seemed hardly the place for an operation. According to what Glenn thinks about socialized medicine, this may scare him greatly, thinking doctors will operate on Americans in public squares. But that dual bass attack might win him over to the idea. 

7.       The Sea and Cake – Choice Blanket

After the reminder of public health care, he might need a mellow track. “Choice Blanket” sounds like something Astrud Gilberto would’ve sung, had she been more rock inclined. 

8.        Codeine – Vacancy

So there’s a lot of slowcore on this mix, I know that. I want there to be a lot of exposed, raw emotions on here. Glenn’s hurting. His heart yearns for love, hugs, chocolate, sunshine, kittens, happiness, pretty flowers, 2 for 1 sale at Target, Ecto cooler coming back, and more. At least now he’ll know he’s not alone in his suffering.

9.       Tortoise – Gamera

One of the sweetest songs Tortoise ever wrote. This will help Glenn relax, maybe he’ll decide to mediate or do yoga as this plays. 

10.   Bedhead – The Present

This will end things off. I think Glenn will relate to the lyrics about living in the past rather than the present. Here, sing along with him:

It's always this year's gift
Is it ever what I wanted
Was I unhappy living in the past
Has my growth been that stunted
When to be ashamed is to be defined
And all this self-awareness
The blind led by the blind
An empty conscience is sensitivity
I have to pretend I'm overcome with humility
It always comes on time
Not a second before the instant
But this year I think I'd rather be a relic
Than part of the present

If you noticed, I kept all the music references within the early 90s. That’s probably the last time Glenn had his finger on the musical pulse, so going all nostalgic with him might allow him to pay closer attention. But we’re all worried about him going crazy on TV, some tuning in for that. Others put him on mute and watch his facial contortions as he does “Kermit the Frog” impressions. Let’s hope this reaches him in time.