The Strokes – Angles (Fin)

Previously on Beach Sloth:

               I guess it had to happen. Today the verdict’s in: guilty. The Strokes are guilty of overstaying their welcome. Coolness gone, the party’s over and they’re busy talking up a storm of boring to a bunch of hosts who just want to go to sleep. Perhaps this was inevitable; a band which captured a moment so well was due to get some sort of backlash. 

                They received the exact same score they got the last time for “First Impressions of Earth” on Pitchfork. Of course, they are going to continue sloughing through like their even-worse reviewed compatriots Interpol. Bands created in 2001 have mostly given up the ghost. LCD Soundsystem is doing a ‘final call’ as James Murphy goes on to focus exclusively on his record label DFA Records. The White Stripes, a band I never really enjoyed a huge amount for reason I won’t fully explain here, called it quits as well. 

                What did Pitchfork exactly dislike about the new album? First, they didn’t like disconnect between the songs and lyrics. Apparently the band hadn’t realized they were no longer cool and continued on oblivious to their own irrelevance. Pitchfork I’m certain has a certain timespan for how long a band is allowed to be important in the giant blog-o-sphere. 

                Accusations were thrown around of the band phoning it in for most of the songs. Perhaps this is true. I feel that’s true for a lot of bands in general. Reading through the article, I felt parts of it felt a bit more optimistic than the 5.9 suggested. Especially towards the end where they complimented a few tracks. Keep in mind the 5.9 is around the cusp for Pitchfork. Though they panned this album, it was a light panning. The Strokes might consider this more of a warning if they continue down this path.

                Since the Strokes were pretty ambivalent about continuing the project in the first place, this may be the death knell of the group. Instead, all of them may break up and focus on their side projects rather than suffer another critical drubbing. Once they’ve announced they are breaking up, Pitchfork can then announce it on their left-hand sidebar with a disclaimer in the beginning saying “Told you so. Those guys blew.”

                Operation Make Everyone Satisfied, the condescending title of Julian Casablanca’s approach towards the album, summarizes it well. Julian couldn’t have cared less how this did. It is telling at live shows people scream for them to play their older songs. Their last attempt to reinvent themselves failed, crashing and burning behind them. Most of the songs got drubbed.  

                Personally, I liked the album more than the fellows at Pitchfork. No, I didn’t love it. But then, I never really loved the Strokes. Angles were a decent attempt to create a new sound which wasn’t entirely successful. The Strokes are just a band who fell out of favor with critical darlings. 2001 was a long time ago. Things change. 

                Hearing about this failure, countless people now realize they’re too old for this stuff. No longer can you accept beer in delightful red cups. All those great memories of the Strokes playing at some hip off-campus party are just that, memories. Instead, we should tell our children and grandchildren about that crazy band which virtually embodied being a twenty something and hip. The Strokes have officially gone into that magical place called nostalgia, where New Order and Depeche Mode currently reside. It was a good run guys. 

                Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

The Strokes: Angles

               Ah, the Strokes, one of those bands heralding good times with their music. I think “Is this It” might have been the ultimate everything kind of music. Wherever it was, it transformed the area into something cool, hip and un-offensive. For they dealt in a particular kind of rock, one hearkening back to cool guitar rock, one which escaped any sort of angry feelings.

                Personally, I side a bit more with Interpol at that time. Around the turn of the century, I was a brooding young sloth, trying to make sense of the world. The Strokes didn’t get dark enough for me, and I rejected them until college, when it finally made sense for me. Finally, I reached a level of cool and acceptance for happier forms of music.

                Much like Interpol, the Strokes eventually caught flak, which brought them crashing down to Earth. “First Impressions of Earth” brought them back to reality. Reality was harsh, though sales were strong for their music. The Strokes took a break.  Drug addictions were battled, Julian Casablancas went solo, and everybody did their own thing. 

                Years later (known as now) a new album comes out. It is called Angles. Considering how many other early 2000s bands have seen their luster diminish, it’d be foolish to think The Strokes would be immune to this treatment. Besides, it has been so long since they paid attention. Even their solo projects reek of people trying too hard to be cool. Usually that coolness came effortlessly, that was the main attraction of their music anyway. 

                Having said that, there are a few possibilities The Strokes might be looking at as the reviews come in, hot off the presses. 

                Scenario 1: It gets universally panned. A lower score than “First Impressions of Earth” appear on most websites. Considering how this has happened with many of their peers, I wouldn’t count this out. Negative reviews might include such things as their sound being stale or dated, their theft from the 80s is too apparent. Snarky comments about how they’ve grown old would be included. Honestly, the hip makers might just throw them an awful score, expressing varying degrees of disappointment.

                Scenario 2: A compromise of sorts would occur. Realizing they can’t exactly totally pan the shit out of The Strokes, for fear of never getting another album for a half-decade, they claim it is better than “First Impressions of Earth” but not as good as “Room On Fire”. Comments will be thrown around, talking up how all the twists and turns make more sense now that they’ve shrunk the size of the album back down to 35 minutes. 

                Scenario 3: People talk about how it is almost as good as “Is this It” and how they’ve come so far in the past few years, overcoming crappy solo albums and drug addictions. Vague forms of encouragement are weaved into the review, talking about the eclectic approach to the album. Smiles appear on people’s faces as they are simply glad they are here, playing for us again. By taking this approach, it coaxes another album out of The Strokes right before their transition to cool dads is complete. 

                Scenario 4: Angles gets higher marks than “Is This It”. I find this extremely unlikely. Considering how highly regarded their first album is, I find it difficult to believe this would ever happen. Right now I’d give this one the least likely chance, about a 1% chance at most. 

                No matter which of these scenarios occurs, a few things are guaranteed. This album will sell well, as their popularity goes back long enough to reach people willing to pay money for albums. I like to think of it as “Grandfathering of the Cool Dads”. All of their concerts will sell out as well, since people are thankful for the Strokes doing anything together. Expect to see some wistfulness, no matter what score they give them. The Strokes just are one of those bands who peaked and generally speaking will never hit that level of hip ever again. 

                Let’s see how it turns out. My gut says Scenario 2, but we’ll see if I’m right about it.