Breaking News: Bebe Zeva’s first feature film.

MDMA films is a film production company founded by Tao Lin and Megan Boyle. Up to this point, they had focused exclusively on themselves wandering about ingesting drugs. Usually done in one take, they offer two opportunities, one for you the viewer and the other for the production team. As a viewer, you get to learn and discover who Megan Boyle is, because I never heard of her before. Besides this obvious benefit (she is genetically pre-disposed to being adorable, a condition that she shares with Tao Lin) you learn about how writers act when on a various controlled substance. They earn the sweet money cake, and have started to do so with huge sums of money they procured from the Wall Street Journal (choosing a newspaper owned by Rupert Murdoch and increases readership, brilliant!).

                Today all of that changed. Bebe Zeva’s documentary is due out on January 11^th, 2011. For those of you not in the know, Bebe was the first Hipster Runoff girl. She wooed Carles and he responded in kind by writing articles professing how much he cared about her. While the attention she received wasn’t universally positive (some called her ‘entry-level’) it gave her the confidence needed to propel her into the blogosphere, where she currently lives.

                Now she maintains a tumblr and twitter presence. Her main focus appears to be fashion and music, and she’s been interviewed countless times over the internet. Now, by having her documentary, she can be propelled into the ‘real-life-o-sphere’. In this area, normal people may learn about her, besides those living on the bleeding edge of internet hipster culture.

                However, Tao Lin’s decision to do this may have unintended consequences. Sure, Bebe is definitely AN HRO girl, but she isn’t the only one anymore. Carles in his infinite wisdom sought new members to enhance his online brand. Now the clever and delightful Catholic School girl (riding the Catholic School wave) Allie Teilz has become a permanent fixture on the HRO circuit, in fact garnering more attention from Carles as of late. So maybe Tao Lin ought to do a documentary on Allie as well in order to remain impartial on the Bebe/Allie debate raging throughout the HRO community.

                Both of them should have their own specific documentaries on the MDMA films project. Why not? Tao and Megan appear to desperately need money, since those drugs they enthusiastically consume do not come for free. Having additional offerings to the public would not only expose Tao Lin’s work, but HRO’s work in the online hipster scene. All of these things could be easily tied together. Failing to do so may cause friction between some of the most influential figures Generation Y has produced as of now. 

                Probably the film I would most want to purchase would be the “Snacks the Cat” documentary. Carles had her crowned as the winner of the Halloween contest, yet painfully little is known about this person. Lacking any sort of online presence, she exists in that strange bizarre place known as real life. Without a tumblr or even a mere twitter, she has captivated the audience on HRO. Is she even a real person? All we know is that she is from Idaho and very meme-able. Using inferred logic, we can only conclude that she may be Mormon, since Mormons are very meme-able (via ‘Big Love’, Mitt Romney, not drinking caffeine, etc.). Her documentary would focus on how she grew up on a small cabin, pulling potatoes out of the ground and learning how to make a mean potato chip. 

                I like all three of these internet personalities and want all of them to expand their personal brand. I want all three of these people to come together, like how those transformers combined into one giant robot, to overtake the entire meme-i-verse. Certainly I hope they become BFFs in both internet and even real life. But my important question to you is what team are you on? In the space below, please choose your favorite:

1.       Team Zeva 

2.       Team Teilz

3.       Or the third party candidate, Team Snacks the Cat (She lacks the following/financial clout of the other two, hence she’s the third party.)

4.       All of the above (via the ‘not rocking the boat’ strategy)

Did Utah Saints try to make rave more accessible for the Mormon community?

Back in the late 80s/early 90s, a magical thing occurred in the UK. The second summer of love came. Pasty English boys and girls became pasty English men and women. Electronic music ruled the airwaves, and even the sun visited this light starved land. Rave followed like sonic milk and honey to those fed mediocre punk rock for too long.

Halfway across the world, a particular group of people weren’t enjoying the fun. Commonly referred to as Mormons, they roast in the hot desert sun. Stores close after 5pm there, and they make the Amish look like fun-loving people. Little of the rave scene reached those people starved for culture. Some wondered when they’d have fun. That’s when Utah Saints came.

As foretold on golden plates, a band would come along. This band would preach to the world the joys of giving up caffeine and producing litters’ worth of children. Joseph Smith knew that this band would come from the UK, since America’s dance music infrastructure remained too weak to handle it, especially in outlying areas outside of Chicago and New York.

Utah Saints consists of Jez Willis and Tim Garbutt. Together they descended on Salt Lake City from a giant zeppelin, set to spread cheer amongst the sad townsfolk. “I just know that something good is going to happen” the speakers blared to the people below. Eventually they convinced the entire state that they should have some sort of statewide dance party. Instead of people being given the requisite drugs, they got their party on by eating white bread and drinking orange juice. For if you give up your ideals then what do you really have. Plus the dance parties ended at sundown. 

One of those dancing in the street ended up doing great things. A well-groomed, articulate young man called Mitt Romney remembered those heroic zeppelin dwelling Englishmen. Once he got to Massachusetts, he looped that song on his IPOD as he signed into law state-wide health care. People adored him for it, although he eventually was accused of “spreading joy” by his own political peers’ years later. Even channeling the good vibrations from early 90s rave via his haircut couldn’t save poor Romney against his ideological foe Rudy Giuliani. Instead, he was reduced to insulting Rudy’s inability to know how many illegal immigrants worked on his vast estate. Rudy curtly replied that his lands were so vast that he couldn’t keep track of the thousands who worked keeping the hedges neatly trimmed. 

Anyway, now rave is dead, but it is important to note how Utah Saints existed exclusively for Utah. No other state got so much attention from the English rave community, not even Idaho. For a brief moment, it felt like Utah might have been able to enjoy the fruits of modern life like birth control. Sadly, that never occurred. Those sprawling suburbs will forever remember that great shining zeppelin in the sky, which let them know that something good is better.