MDMA Films: Mumblecore Preview Part II

                Monday, June 20^th the Mumblecore mayhem is released to the masses. You should be prepared. This is happening. Another tidbit from the upcoming movie “Mumblecore” has been presented online for your viewing pleasure. I am excited to see how much they managed to throw into a film with minimal money. This is the most heartfelt thing I’ve seen from Tao Lin and Megan Boyle. Let Mumblecore be as good as this whole trailer. I’d like that. 

                We begin with the gorgeous red color. For whatever reason, I respond well to the color. Perhaps it is intended to ‘color’ my experience or viewing of it by literally seeing the scene through rose colored glasses. Or it could just be the cheapness of the computer lighting. Whatever the reason it does alter my reaction to what Megan says.  As she says “Then the next few times we hung out we slept in the same bed” Tao’s head looks up at her at an affectionate angle. Tao gives a little nod and they move on to the next scene. “Aw” came out of my mouth involuntarily with this scene. Calling it adorable wouldn’t do it justice. 

                By using a stark editing technique called “reality” Mumblecore captivates me more than some set-up love story. They use real language. I find set-ups in most romantic films to be corny, cheesy, and pretty boring. With those mass-produced sorts of media they edit out any humanity to create a beautiful, empty glossy package. Here Tao and Megan do the exact opposite. Though the filming is oftentimes blurry the humanity is crystal clear. Humanity and love are the main focuses. After Tao says “I like just being around you” into his hand Megan responds with a simple “Me too.” Keeping it so focused and unencumbered by anything else allows you to connect with the mumbling lovers.

                You see them in the back of a car. Nothing happens. They talk. The red light makes a re-appearance. A song plays on the radio (the only song I hear in the entire trailer). Listening to the song their conversation appears to nearly fit the music. That might be accidental but if so it is a rather delightful accident and an example of what happens around us when we pay attention. 

                Paying attention is what Mumblecore is mainly about. Both of them limit the amount of information you’re given. You’re only given two characters. The limits are what define the movie, how you don’t know Tao’s or Megan’s internal thoughts. Considering what they write you probably could guess what they think or don’t think about. I know some people religiously digest everything either person comes out with or does. Lately Tao has been prolific with writing for “Vice Magazine” and selling some of his possessions on eBay. But knowing what they think isn’t important. You don’t even need to know them that well to feel the connection between the two. 

                I enjoyed the second trailer a lot. Even more than the first it makes me eagerly await its release on MDMA Films.

MDMA Films: Mumblecore Preview

                The darling duo of literary lovers Tao Lin and Megan Boyle have returned for the epic “Mumblecore” movie. Due to open in theaters on June 20^th, it is a bit different than their previous outings, meaning less drugs and no Bebe Zeva (sorry). In the preview we see what they did on a normal day. You get a ‘sneak peak’ into their relationship dynamic, something a small but vocal part of the internet wonders loudly about. And no, it isn’t a chill-ass publicity stunt, they are for real. Their love is real. 

                Neither Megan nor Tao are known for their enunciating skills. Personally, I can relate to this dilemma being a low-energy sloth. Since not everyone can understand the joy of mumbled delivery, they included subtitles. This is important. With the subtitles, you’re able to understand the true wit of these two. The mumbling gives the movie its title anyway. 

                Watching the teasingly brief trailer, we’re shown what they do. They read a book together, “Infinite Jest”. Going through Walmart at 2AM, they discover who won the National Book Award. Seeing what they see through their own eyes is great. As they carry their laptop around, you feel like a small child being introduced to a world of wonder. You learn what a “Chocolate Melter” is. Once you understand what the Chocolate Melter can do you realize America is the greatest country that God ever gave humanity. Sean Hannity was right. 

                MDMA Films has a purpose. It focuses on the minute details we overlook. Some people call it ‘boring’ or ‘gimmicky’. I disagree vehemently. Their work strips away all the nonsense we pour on top of stories, on top of Television shows and movies. Little silly details, pointless drama is cut out of the scenario. You’re given a pure, uncut depiction of the events. In a way their movies are extensions of the intensely-focused writing the two of them create.

                I enjoyed the sparseness of the trailer. At moments the trailer felt like a Valentine they made together. The one-minute mark confirms this for me. Seeing the two of them bathed in a red glow feels like their emotions have gained color. I know Tao is known for his famous ‘neutral expressions’ but here he is experiencing emotion. When he was asked on his Facebook profile if he felt emotions, he said he did. “Mumblecore” confirms that fact. Drenched in giddy silliness, you see how two starving artists are able to sustain themselves on love. At the very end of the trailer we see the two of them sitting in silence in a hotel room. That scene reminds me of “Stranger than Paradise” as Eva sits alone in the hotel room, bored. 

                Ultimately I hope they decide to have a premier for their movie. When the movie opens, I want to see Tao and Megan. As they greet people, I will not introduce myself for I am a shy sloth. Instead, I’ll find some non-descript part of the room to hide in, preferably an area with a tree for me to hang upside down on. Or perhaps I might muster all the confidence I can and shake both of their hands. The latter is less likely. 

                In either instance, I want to see Tao and Megan succeed. For too long they have been putting out quality products with little in the traditional definition of ‘money’ or ‘profit’. A rabid, internet-savvy and mostly impoverished fan-base bodes poorly for sales. They give and we take. It is high time we give them something back. On June 20^th, let’s make “Mumblecore” the highest-grossing film from MDMA films ever.

MDMA Films: Bebe Zeva Preview

                A teaser trailer came out today showing off the relationship between Tao Lin and Bebe Zeva. I’ll be honest; I found some of the earlier video trailers to be nothing more than valentines Tao and Megan made together. With this particular outing, Tao’s discovered a little thing called “Editing”. Usually the previews for most of this stuff appear to be random scenes taken at random. Here he has it formatted in such a way that people might actually want to ‘see’ it.

                I’ll be honest: from the first time I mentioned Tao Lin on here, he’s grown on me. When you first encounter his zany weirdness, you wonder “Is this guy serious? Is it all a ruse?” The more you encounter him, read his books, watch his ‘movies’ the more those answers don’t matter. Basically, you get the impression from this trailer that he and Bebe are good friends. Despite their obvious age differences, they seem to be peas in a pod regarding temperament at least. Seeing them together, their sense of humor meshes well, and they do approach something verging on wit. 

                Megan is in the background for this trailer. Rather than being someone to throw a damp, wet towel on, she is in the background. Maybe their idea is to adopt Bebe, forming an unstoppable trio of zaniness. I can’t even think of how much money they’d get from their parents if they adopted someone, particularly if they don’t actually need to provide her with anything, since she already has parents. I only put this idea out there since Tao’s been trolling his own Though Catalog pieces, asking for somebody to loan him $5000. For a brief moment, I almost offered a $5,000 loan to him, but I decided against it since I’d have to reveal my true identity which he could sell for an additional $12. Didn’t want to risk it, I will need a lot more than that very shortly anyway.

                Watching it, it looks focused. Probably this is the most focused effort I’ve seen from the MDMA films. It has a point, to explore Bebe’s psyche and reveal her innermost thoughts, like how many twitter followers a toothbrush or public toilet seat might have. You know; the really important, core of my existence type of stuff. 

                Perhaps I’m the audience for this: it sure can meander (MDMA films have that as a principle I guess) but it is definitely their most appealing outing. Everything, even the inventions (like how they pretend she’s homeless) is funny. I enjoy things where there’s no concrete plot or organized structure. It appears to have been fairly well-edited and if you’re fond of Bebe or Tao (and many people are fans of both) it offers you something great.

                The biggest selling point is how it may attract new followers to Bebe. Honestly, there was a lot of ambivalence about who was cooler: Bebe or Project Girl on the hit blog Hipster Runoff. Now the two seem to be working together. And if you didn’t like Bebe before, either finding her too haughty or self-aware, this is a good place to realize why she became the model for Hipster Runoff. She seems actually really nice in this, like a person you’d want to be friends with. 

                Easily this is the best MDMA films trailer ever. One might be tempted to buy it for reasons other than Tao Lin/Megan Boyle charity and it is out now. Perhaps I judged the project wrong; this little glimpse is making me almost re-consider my original harsh assessment of their idea. I’ll have more of an open mind for their future previews. 

                In closing:

                “You’re the cutest homeless girl I have ever met in my life.”

True Love DOESN’T wait: Tao Lin and Megan Boyle Married!

                Previously Beach Sloth covered the flowering relationship between alt writers Megan Boyle and Tao Lin. Watching them grow on each other, become each other’s romantic interest, and made countless readers swoon. I hoped that they could come together to create future writers (via sexual reproduction).

                Well, I have great news for you. Those who thought this would be just a gimmick; you’ve either been proven very right or very wrong. On Saturday, January 8^th, in the year 2011 of our Lord, Tao Lin and Megan combined forces in holy matrimony. Now they are recognized by law as being lawfully wed in the Las Vegas area. Love knows no geographic location, it is universal. 

                Some may point out both Tao and Megan received money from their parents for this marriage. According to their internal messages, they netted thousands of dollars from each one of their families, which will be wisely invested or, more likely, ‘invested’ on drugs. But they didn’t do it for the money. I can only imagine how the courtship worked between the two of them. Tao must have come up to her and said, as sexily as he could:

                “Hey baby, how’d you like to get filmed doing drugs with me?”

                Who could resist a charm offensive like that? In case that question proves too difficult for you, let me answer it: no one. Tao is a catch; he has literally tens of dollars in the bank. Keep in mind since he shoplifts so much his expenses excluding rent is extremely small. Now that he has a wife, she can help him steal food and headphones from local stores. Perhaps he and she could walk out of a Duane Reade with enough food to last a week. 

                Not everyone is thrilled about the news. Certain online tastemakers expressed disapproval at the relationship. Carles of the famous blog “Hipster Runoff” made an offer to Megan Boyle. Leaked in a Gchat photo by none other Brandon Scott Gorrell, some guy I never heard of. Anyway, below is Carles’ response upon hearing the news:

                “Megan, I can offer you a contract that offers stability, hits, and the love your father never gave you if you quit MDMA films and your relationship with Tao right now.”

                Of course, Megan is a stylish classy lady. She simply laughed it off. Tao wore an ‘annoyed’ expression as he explained that Carles wasn’t the only one with a strong online brand, explaining how he was about to come into $1,400, virtually the yearly income of your average Cape Verde citizen. What was left unsaid was that Tao’s worth can’t be put into mere dollars and cents. Unlike Carles, he’s exposed himself for the world to see. He’s considered sending nude pictures of himself to fans in New Zealand.

                Carles immediately left the Gchat upon being rejected. Maybe Carles decided to call his own hotline to ask for his own advice which he’ll play on the next podcast. Or possibly Carles could’ve been just kidding and wanted to be silly. We’ll never know as Carles lives only on the internet and not in ‘real life’ (via never being seen in real life). 

                On Sunday, Carles posted his own take on the marriage, labeling it a ‘gimmick’. Maybe that hurt a little bit. I feel that all relationships require a certain degree of compromise between the two people. Each one negotiates with the other, finding that sweet in-between spot. Most people of the ‘authentic’ or ‘alternative’ persuasion believe perfect love awaits them. No compromise would be needed. Hence all these cool brothers and sisters are lonely. Tao and Megan’s marriage sort of confirms the belief perfect partners exist. Carles’ take seems to be that it is a gimmick, but love is real, no gimmick needed. Probably he’s worried about his alt cred, wondering if he’ll find his significant other, settle down, marry and have kids enrolled in a private art school (like Cooper Union). We’ll just need to wait and see. But the online support is greatly in favor of Tao and Megan’s holiest of matrimonies. 

                It seems the amount of online support for the Tao/Boyle relationship is reaching a fever pitch. Personally, I still think that IMBOYCRAZY’s interview had something to do with this turn of events. Alexi Wasser’s questions must have reached the inner most depths of Tao’s drug-addled mind. He knew not every girl would do cocaine off the head of his penis. He needed to strike while the love was hot and while he was in Las Vegas working on Bebe Zeva’s documentary.

                They appeared extremely happy at their marriage. So far kids are not expected in the foreseeable future though Tao feels open to them. Each set of parents has nothing but happiness for each of the two young writers.

                Here at Beach Sloth, I’m wishing them the best. Even on the heaviest of drugs, their love shines through like a light house piercing through the dark night. By being a couple, I can more easily stalk them online like countless others (stalkers = twitter followers). Be fruitful and multiply you crazy kids!

                May I suggest singing the following to each other in monotone?

“Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart

And I will love you

Forever, and ever we never will part

Oh, how I'll love you

Together, forever, that's how it must be

To live without you

Would only mean heartbreak for me.”

True Love Waits: Tao Lin and Megan Boyle

Tao Lin remains a perennial favorite here at Beach Sloth. What he does interests me. I apologize then for the lateness of this post, but I figure this might help others cheer up in their search for their significant other, whether alt or not. 

                Wishing upon a star, Tao hoped and pleaded to have a girlfriend to truly understand him. Apparently the star read “Richard Yates” so the wish came true. That star must have also seen the interview with Alexi Wasser, of “Imboycrazy.com”. Alexi delved into Tao’s inner most wants and thoughts, he wanted a girlfriend. Not just any girlfriend, mind you, but one who read his books, wanted to do drugs with him and one who could laugh together with him.

                Of course, like all romantic comedies it ends up being the person who is closest to you. Or, in Lin’s case, that person you beat up while on Ecstasy. I’m talking about the beloved and wonderful Megan Boyle, his cohort in crime up until this point.

                Facebook made it official, they were in a relationship. Some claimed to have ‘called it’ but can anyone really predict where Cupid’s arrow will go? The answer is: No. Love is a beautiful, unpredictable thing that I hope one day to experience, so I wish the young couple well.

                Each of them helps compliment the other: Tao has an exciting career as a starving writer writing for the alt-o-sphere; Megan has an exciting career as a starving writer writing for the alt-o-sphere. Together you see them smiling together, both having abandoned neutral expressions for allowing their true passions to shine through.

                I wonder how Tao will introduce himself to Megan’s dad. Below is probably a ‘good way’ he could introduce himself:

                “Hello Mr. Boyle, I’m Tao Lin, a famous writer for alt people. I manage my own vaguely unprofitable Publishing House (Muumuu House). I wrote the successful book "Richard Yates". Your daughter has done cocaine off the head of my penis.”

                That’s the best way he could do it, never mind how two poverty-stricken writers managed to afford cocaine. Honestly, I’m certain that Megan’s dad, after reading her piece called “Everyone I’ve had Sex with” is a pretty difficult person to shock in general. After all, when he sees how cute the couple looks together, his heart will surely melt. 

                Perhaps some of Tao’s facebook followers are right: maybe it is a chill ass publicity stunt. But aren’t all attempts at love just chill ass publicity stunts, meant to help you soar to that greater height of enlightenment. Having followed Tao on facebook, I’ll now have to get on top of following Ms. Boyle as well (metaphorically on top, not literal. I’m sure that Tao is ‘literally’ on top, though he might not be. To be honest, I’m not sure what their relationship dynamic is like.)

                Reading and seeing how happy they are warms my heart. I wish sometimes that I could find my other alt piece (of ass!). Will this even be possible, should I stick through it like Tao did, being single until the perfect one arrives? Or did it take time for their love to blossom. Perhaps while in the midst of their many drug-fueled films (MDMA films) they realized how perfect they were for the other.

                Alt means alternative, but in German it means “old”. I guess that sums me up well: I continue my alternative lifestyle while I grow old, wondering if there will ever that special someone. Should I simply subject myself to normalcy, resigning myself to the fate of ‘office clown’? I just don’t know anymore, I feel so happy that others are able to experience that true, pure emotion of love that seems to constantly dodge me as if it owed me money. There might even be others who loved me and I remained too foolish to realize it, until it was too late.

                For those of you who worry about finding that ‘special someone’ the person who makes you feel metaphorically warm and gooey inside, let Tao and Megan’s tale be an inspiration to you. These are extremely awkward, hip, cool kids. They made it together without having to sacrifice any of what makes them special. Stick with it, be yourself. Take pride in who you are, others will appreciate you for it, and someday one might even love you for it.

Breaking News: Bebe Zeva’s first feature film.

MDMA films is a film production company founded by Tao Lin and Megan Boyle. Up to this point, they had focused exclusively on themselves wandering about ingesting drugs. Usually done in one take, they offer two opportunities, one for you the viewer and the other for the production team. As a viewer, you get to learn and discover who Megan Boyle is, because I never heard of her before. Besides this obvious benefit (she is genetically pre-disposed to being adorable, a condition that she shares with Tao Lin) you learn about how writers act when on a various controlled substance. They earn the sweet money cake, and have started to do so with huge sums of money they procured from the Wall Street Journal (choosing a newspaper owned by Rupert Murdoch and increases readership, brilliant!).

                Today all of that changed. Bebe Zeva’s documentary is due out on January 11^th, 2011. For those of you not in the know, Bebe was the first Hipster Runoff girl. She wooed Carles and he responded in kind by writing articles professing how much he cared about her. While the attention she received wasn’t universally positive (some called her ‘entry-level’) it gave her the confidence needed to propel her into the blogosphere, where she currently lives.

                Now she maintains a tumblr and twitter presence. Her main focus appears to be fashion and music, and she’s been interviewed countless times over the internet. Now, by having her documentary, she can be propelled into the ‘real-life-o-sphere’. In this area, normal people may learn about her, besides those living on the bleeding edge of internet hipster culture.

                However, Tao Lin’s decision to do this may have unintended consequences. Sure, Bebe is definitely AN HRO girl, but she isn’t the only one anymore. Carles in his infinite wisdom sought new members to enhance his online brand. Now the clever and delightful Catholic School girl (riding the Catholic School wave) Allie Teilz has become a permanent fixture on the HRO circuit, in fact garnering more attention from Carles as of late. So maybe Tao Lin ought to do a documentary on Allie as well in order to remain impartial on the Bebe/Allie debate raging throughout the HRO community.

                Both of them should have their own specific documentaries on the MDMA films project. Why not? Tao and Megan appear to desperately need money, since those drugs they enthusiastically consume do not come for free. Having additional offerings to the public would not only expose Tao Lin’s work, but HRO’s work in the online hipster scene. All of these things could be easily tied together. Failing to do so may cause friction between some of the most influential figures Generation Y has produced as of now. 

                Probably the film I would most want to purchase would be the “Snacks the Cat” documentary. Carles had her crowned as the winner of the Halloween contest, yet painfully little is known about this person. Lacking any sort of online presence, she exists in that strange bizarre place known as real life. Without a tumblr or even a mere twitter, she has captivated the audience on HRO. Is she even a real person? All we know is that she is from Idaho and very meme-able. Using inferred logic, we can only conclude that she may be Mormon, since Mormons are very meme-able (via ‘Big Love’, Mitt Romney, not drinking caffeine, etc.). Her documentary would focus on how she grew up on a small cabin, pulling potatoes out of the ground and learning how to make a mean potato chip. 

                I like all three of these internet personalities and want all of them to expand their personal brand. I want all three of these people to come together, like how those transformers combined into one giant robot, to overtake the entire meme-i-verse. Certainly I hope they become BFFs in both internet and even real life. But my important question to you is what team are you on? In the space below, please choose your favorite:

1.       Team Zeva 

2.       Team Teilz

3.       Or the third party candidate, Team Snacks the Cat (She lacks the following/financial clout of the other two, hence she’s the third party.)

4.       All of the above (via the ‘not rocking the boat’ strategy)