When the Doors sang about “the ghosts crowd the child’s fragile eggshell mind” in the song “Peace Frog” they might have been singing about Glenn Beck. Some people just happen to have a lot of ghosts whispering crazy things into their ears. For a while now people have been heaping scorn on him just for being himself on TV. People have to be true to themselves both on and off of TV. That’s why he carries a chalkboard and a 5th grade history textbook wherever he goes.
After the latest announcement, it seems he will be true to himself off of TV. Fox News is letting him go. No doubt this will make him even more unstable; something which is going to take a great deal of work on his part. I mean, the guy really is the poster child of crazy by this point. How could he go crazier? Is it even possible?
Here at Beach Sloth, we’ve tried to help Glenn Beck. We made a MIX CD for him, to help calm his nerves after anything happens to him. I’m sure all those drugs he took for a decade and a half didn’t help his mind. Though many would say he brought this on himself due to his barely coherent ravings and crying, I’m not so sure there isn’t a conspiracy afoot, one bigger than all of us where George Soros is involved in some way.
On Glenn’s show, he often discusses conspiracies. While many call these insane, how do you explain Glenn’s dismissal right as he was explaining the new world order? It seems pretty suspicious he’d be let go after he talked about the Marxist-Islamist cabal operating out of Babylon for the coming of the caliphate. Yes, he knew it all. Progressives were out to destroy America. Economics no longer made sense, as agribusiness was in bed with Dutch Royalty to ensure grain prices would be fixed. Finally, global warming was a joke created by a former KGB agent who went by the name of ‘Sparky’ who just happens to work installing energy-efficient light-bulbs in the Boston suburbs. How convenient. I’d like to explore this further, but the conspiracy is so vast and all-knowing that it isn’t safe. For they kicked Glenn off of his show, who knows what they could do to my blog, perhaps troll it? Perish the thought.
Glenn went too far. By revealing this intricate and improbable web of deception, he had taken the red pill. Going down that rabbit hole has its problems as he discovered. Like Neo he was taken to be a fool. But what kind of fool was given a prime slot on Fox News and advertised gold? Well, I’d say a genius kind of fool if you ask me.
Now the progressives who are destroying America are broadcasting this from the liberal media, which in Glenn’s opinion is everyone. Even Glenn gets a little progressive now and then, quoting Kermit, a well-known member of Germany’s Green party. Kermit describes his involvement in Germany’s Green Party by stating how “It’s not easy being Green. Destroy Capitalism.” But I digress.
MSNBC announced the news of Glenn’s departure as they hid their erections behind the news desk, much like a teenager hides theirs behind a Math Textbook. CNN asked viewers to tweet their responses and proceeded to read the tweets as they were happening live for an hour, in order to give the illusion news was happening. On Charlie Rose, Glenn got interviewed in soothing tones surrounded by pitch black. In this environment, Glenn feels the most comfortable when there aren’t any distractions, otherwise his ADD starts acting up.
By letting him go, they’re letting the genie out of the bottle. Now he has no restraints in what he says. Can he out-crazy Charlie Sheen? Should he? What I think he should do is end his show on a positive note. Ending his show with a certain degree of levity will help people cope with his loss. Might I suggest Glenn singing with Mike Huckabee’s band the hit Billy Joel song “You may be right”
You may be right
I might be crazy
But it just may be a lunatic you’re looking for.