Hackster Runoff: Carles gets vulnerable (to cyber warfare)

Hipster Runoff became a part of my morning ritual this year, just like how I read the New York Times or drink my cup of lemonade when I wake up. Carles, the preeminent anonymous hipster joker, keeps us entertained with his musings on alternative culture. Even the site’s name “Hipster Runoff” is a playful phrase, meant to simultaneously mock and delight its readership.

                What Carles might have wished he named it was “Hackster Runoff”. After a particular subpar article about a remixed MGMT song, the site went down. Pages no longer were available. Slowly but surely Carles’ online empires left his grasp, to try and do it on his own. Hackers took over, upset at the drop in writing quality. Keeping the hackers at bay is a much more daunting task, especially when Carles choose such easy passwords as “p33n” and “l33t p33n”.

                Speaking to Ramona while drinking a Bud Light on the rooftop, he contemplated life. He wondered just how far he had come in his quest for the 10.0. Not for an article or a band, but this 10.0 was for his life. Just how much had he really contributed to society with his snarky commentary? Did creating LOLS make the world a better place, or were those LOLS begotten at another’s expense. 

                People are getting worried. It has been almost a full day since there’s been any alt report or Carles article. Since I’m cynical, part of me thinks this might just be another ploy to play with our hearts. Having gotten us worried, he’ll come back in his trademark monotone voice pleading that his site was hacked and that he needs our support. Then there will be a big Christmas special, where he talks about his past and what 2011 holds in store.

                I’m hoping that this is a sincere issue with his website. Who would ever wish harm upon the sanctified, kind-hearted soul who is Carles. Right from his childhood, growing up with his father Jandek, he was called out for a higher purpose. To find beauty in the sublime netherworld that is alternative culture. 

                Carles moved to southern Indiana, where he embraced high culture. Drinking only quality alcoholic beverages (like Miller ‘High Life’) he sought out meaning even when there wasn’t any. Everything became fair game, whether it was Juggalos, a picture of one of the Jonas brothers in front of a movie theater, or people getting hit by cars.

                After this harrowing experience, maybe Carles will become sensitive. He’ll understand what it is like to feel pain, loss, regret. Maybe he’ll get vulnerable with us again, explaining how he’s looking for something, something bigger than him. Vulnerability should only go so far, he should probably be less vulnerable to hacker attacks. 

                But who might have ordered those dastardly hackers to attack poor, defenseless Carles? Below are some of the potential suspects:

1.       Evil Carles, a graduate student from Rice University majoring in Finance. 

2.       MGMT, worried about the increasing hostile coverage they’ve been having.

3.       Unchill Asian Bro, upset at the lack of coverage and fulfilling the need to become unchill. 

4.       Salem , in order for Carles to understand true darkness.

5.       Michael Cera, to try and change his image from pantywaist to internet thug

6.       Best Coast, annoyed that her attempts at trolling have failed, takes it to the ‘next level’

7.       Julian Assange, according to the US government.

So Carles, to quote a wise buzzband: “I wish you would step away from that ledge my friend” –Third Eye Blind

Avoid getting hammered. Instead, focus on that great material you’ll be unleashing into the cyberspaces. I hope that your next post ends up being the “Citizen Kane” of privileged upper-middle class frustration. You can do it.  Believe in yourself. 

-Sending Good Vibes.

Struggle of the Bedroom musician

Life is hard for the bedroom musician. Nobody respects a guy who goes up to an audience and mumbles into a microphone:

“Hi, I’m going to play songs from my laptop.”

Then for the next 45 minutes you see this guy pretend to jam out on a better laptop than the one you have at home. Of course, there’s always the chance that he’s just playing MP3s out of it as he’s winning solitaire games. Usually there’s one or two of their friends in the audience as plants. After the show they usually say what a great job the guy did nodding his head back and forth along with staring blankly at a computer monitor. 

Life is hard for these artists. It used to be acceptable to have those kinds of concerts. No longer can anyone tolerate it. You just don’t have the labels as interested. Each time a guy comes on stage with a laptop the audience groans. Only somebody like The Field, who plays decadent dance music, can get away with this. And even he included actual musicians on his second album.

Some labels like 12k, City Centre Offices, and a few others accept this as a legitimate art form. But for most, one is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do. Waking up in the morning and writing MP3s just has been sort of frowned upon. Thus, you either need absolutely amazing material (Like Washed Out), or, more realistically, you need to flesh out your live sound with a full band, like what Toro Y Moi does (and should continue to do).

Besides the obvious joy of having actual friends, being a bedroom artist now carries a derogatory connotation, like you can only be bothered with this before you go to sleep or after you wake up. Heaven forbid you actually spent time on making this good. See Jandek as a bedroom artist for further evidence that there’s something a little off about it.

Plus (and this might be the most important) without those other bands members, you’ll never get sweet advertising money. Do you really think that WAVVES would be as successful if he didn’t have Mountain Dew? Of course not, he’d be living on the streets. Just like Twin Shadow is the spokesperson for Robitussin, or the Polyphonic Spree advertises for Prozac. It just makes sense, and having a creepy, lonely dude explain that to you doesn’t have the same effect. 

So if you’re going the route of bedroom musician, fine. You can write those songs in your PJs, but keep in mind at some point, if you become successful, you’ll need a group of musicians good enough to learn the songs but not good enough to actually make it on their own. Perhaps you have a music teacher friend, or a guy who does weddings. It doesn’t matter so much where they are from, but that they will propel you to another level. As you grow together, you’ll gain access to Converse’s recording label and someday use Motel 6’s warm welcome to all touring artists.

A-level doesn’t involve being alone anymore.

Does Jandek Google himself?

Jandek is a shadowy figure from Texas who has created some of the darkest and most personal outsider music for over 30 years. But what do we really know about Sterling R. Smith, the man behind the music? Besides the fact that he lives in some comfortable part of Houston, there’s really nothing. A phone interview with someone who might have been him mentioned he worked as a machinist and wrote 7 novels, all of which were rejected by a New York publisher and later burned, in true Jandek fashion. 

I’m sure that when Mr. Smith comes home from his well-paying job at the Sterling Smith Corporation (of course, since the company is named after him, he ought to be doing fairly well) he probably plops down in front of a computer. Then he looks for himself on the internet. Never mind the article that stated he doesn’t watch TV or surf the internet, that interview was before he even decided to perform live. Things have obviously changed in his little universe.

When he reads these absurd scenarios about his life, he most likely laughs. Yes, I know that somebody writing such desolate music shouldn’t laugh, but I sort of doubt how revealing his music is about him. Like he told Katy Vine “There’s nothing to get” or how Corwood Industries has stated multiple times that the fans’ (all 8 of them) interpretation of the music is far more interesting than the performer’s intent. All those rejected novels indicate that he is more than capable of creating fictional scenarios. But I doubt they were particularly happy stories.

The fans definitely do have a number of theories as to what is up with him. Some of them have been proven incorrect due to his live performances, but some seem sort of insane:

1.     1.  Jandek was the work of a disturbed individual, and their wealthy father paid to have his crazy son’s work released. So it is basically out of familial love, hence why the records and CDs are sold for nearly nothing. 

2.    2.   Jandek is the work of a disillusioned member of the almost boomer generation, watching the failings of the late 60s. Some of this might be due to the more collaborative efforts of his which include drummers and other singers. Also, in his interview on the radio he talked about how he likes the Velvet Underground.

3.     3.  The work serves as a reminder of the blues, the most depressing of the blues. Rock seems to have forgotten where it came from, resulting in an endlessly self-referencing genre. Perhaps this is a giant project to get more purveyors of rock to pay attention to the genre. It couldn’t hurt for people like Thurston Moore and his ilk. Not sure if this is a good idea, or if rock is now too self-absorbed for it to ever work.

4.      4. Carles, the writer of the popular blog Hipster Runoff, is Jandek. Both live in Texas and are well-known for being vulnerable. 

Honestly, I think the first one has been proven incorrect. Judging from the live performances, he appears to be perfectly rational and aware of what he is doing. So those who considered it an extremely personal venting of his emotions might be correct, but with each additional performance, that appears less unlikely (though still not impossible).

I’m not sure how accurate this may be. Of course he does seem to be from a certain generation that saw a lot of awfulness occur. As I think about this, I do sort of sit in wonder about how politics have been barely referenced in his songs. That’s a bit incredible considering the supposed personal nature of the music, again making me believe that this could just be dedicated performance art.

The blues isn’t as respected as it once was. So if this is his intention, it would fit with my idea that this might be purely creative than anything else. If this was true, it would explain why he sent so many of his records to college radio stations, in an attempt to sort of cultivate interest in this type of music.

Jury says no, but it does interest me how online or artistic identities can differ dramatically from real-life ones.  

My opinion is it is purely a creative outlet with little insight into his life. I know this will come across as heresy in this well-regarded Jandek scene, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having artistic work that doesn’t match your mindset. Usually the simplest answer is the right one. He worked as a machinist and eventually got his way up into white-collar work (hence the Stock and Securities work). After being in the dark for so long, he decided to reveal himself and tour the world a little bit. He is fairly old, so he figured he’d get out and do things before he got too old to enjoy the experience (again, I know joy isn’t an emotion people associate with him, but I think he does have fun doing this). Hell, he certainly doesn’t do it for the money, there isn’t a way to turn his music into a money making machine. Plus, the little tidbits we have about his travels (he’s apparently well-traveled according to even his album covers) show that he is at least aware of what communities his music appeals to. 

The music is deeply strange and highly unusual. It is a mixture of blues, rock, free jazz, and spoken word. Difficult doesn’t even describe it. Avant-Garde is easier work than this. At no point does his voice become pleasant, or the subject material happy (though the 80s material seems more cheerful) and there’s the total lack of melody or development to deal with. AMM, that classical improvisational outfit from the UK, had much easier structures to deal with since there appeared to be little emotion content. Here in Jandek’s world, emotions provide the only bedrock, and that’s some pretty unstable ground. 

Oddly, I seem to enjoy the spoken word the most, since it is the sparsest thing I’ve ever heard. My personal favorite out of spoken word albums would be “Put My Dream on This Planet”. It is one of the most difficult, uncomfortable things I’ve ever heard. If you’ve heard of anything even remotely like this, you’re probably much older and depressed than I.

So yeah, I’m sure he’s more than aware of everything we write about him. I feel like he knows exactly what sort of path he’s following artistically at least. Live free good sir.

Travelling Without Moving: Thanks Jamiroquai for the suggestion: Day Two

Today you’re probably all spaced out from yesterday’s trip up to the higher levels of weird. Don’t worry; I haven’t lessened the cataclysmic storms of the bizarre today. Bring food, snacks, whatever you need. Get a book, do some reading, expand your mind. Avoid the television, or, if you must watch, put it on cartoons and turn the sound off. Then make up the dialogue according to the sound. I’ve done this before; it is a very funny experience, especially the more hyperactive the cartoon is. I’d say Anime would be your best bet, but that’s just merely a suggestion.

Without further ado, I present day two of your journey.

Day Two


1. Gastr Del Sol – Our Exquisite Replica of “Eternity”
Jim O’Rourke gets a lot of shit, mostly by me. This song explains my reasoning behind it. It shows that before he went down a lazy, predictable path, he had the ability and inclination to follow his muse wherever it led him. Here you get a real feel for the build up, which leads into the progressive rock epic following.
2. Van Der Graaf Generator – A Plague of Lighthouse Keepers
Rusty Venture definitely let his kids listen to this, in order to find their creative muse via 70s progressive rock. He couldn’t do much worse than this; this is sort of the crowning achievement of so much nerdy dorks with far too much musical training.
3. Fuck Buttons – Olympians
FUCK BUTTONS! This takes its size and inflates it dramatically with noise, melody, and tribal drums. Does it work? Oh, it works so very well.
4. Television – Marquee Moon
After the past few intense songs, I figured we might need to slow it down a bit. Notice for this particular playlist there’s a few visitors from the 70s. This is just one of many common threads.
5. Tortoise – DJED
Single-handedly remixing any and almost all worthwhile genres of rock and rock-related genres into a massive mix, this does justice to their vision of a “jazz band playing rock music”. If you’re not so keen on the more “difficult” tendencies of this list, I’d suggest going with this one first. Like the New York Times stated, this is “the easy listening end of the avant-garde”. Maybe I’ll make an easy listening, or abridged version of these three lists. We’ll see.
6. Philip Glass – The Grid
Continuing the non-offensive music comes Philip Glass. Basically, the complaint many have is that he steals from his previous works, like “Music in Twelve Parts” among other things. But this definitely gives a great example of what sort of music he’s capable of when he’s hot.
7. Janek Schaefer – The Ruined City
Veering a bit towards the more the experimental, we have what is essentially a remix of depressing classical pieces. Rather than allow his technical performances overwhelm the samples, he works more around the territory than stupidly smashing through it. That sort of stuff happens later in the mix, with far more useless music.
8. British Sea Power – Lately
An epic jam bringing to mind the best and happiest of Grateful Dead, had they existed until the late 90s intact. Towards the end, watch the volume, it gets very loud.
9. Oneida – Sheets of Easter
You’ve to look into the LIGHT LIGHT LIGHT LIGHT. Uh, I found the perfect repeating loud stupid music. And it is this. There’s no evolution, it is the same thing throughout the entire length. You’re welcome.
10. The Residents – Part Two: the Making of a soul
Birthed from Elvis’s vagina in the 1840s, following the annexation of the Northwest Territories, they roamed the countryside planting apple trees while fighting the Confederacy.

This is all irrelevant however. Really they are theatrical people who created such another-worldly Dadaist play that it must be heard to be believed. I’d recommend the whole album of “Not Available” but this is probably the best bit.
11. Of Montreal – No Conclusion
If you missed what Of Montreal was before Skeletal Lamping, try this, the EP right before that said album came out. Without any idea that they are, I’ll let you know they conjure the images of the glam of David Bowie during his glammiest phase.
12. Terre Thaemlitz – Elevatorium
Neurosis of living in an urban area is reflected oh so well. There are some beautiful things at work, and it is a bit of a shame that in later releases Terre focused more on theory than actual musical content. Here he lets the music speak for itself, without any little theory ruining your blissful dreams.
13. Amp – Perception Returns
Amp nicely compliments Terre’s music. Now we move into the countryside for a form of “rural psychedelic a” that Flying Saucer specialized in. Only in this case, we don’t have to put up with their crumby vocals.
14. Joanna Newsom – Only Skin
Homes infected with Hipsters usually put this on to get rid of them. She’s pretty damn important, and if you were wondering what renaissance fair music would sound like taken to the highest level possible, this would be it. Perhaps if this played at renaissance fairs, I might actually go to them.
15. Nobukazu Takemura – Icefall
Every time I’ve put this on for people, they called it “emotionless computer music”. I disagree; this song puts a smile on my face for the rest of the day every time I hear it. Each little glitch sounds like a computer in the wild passionate throbs of love. Adore it.
16. Sigur Ros – Vidrar vel til loftarasa
This comes closest to anything normal you’ve heard for about the past hour. Odd that the bizarre Icelandic group has to “mainstream” things on here, but that’s what we’re looking at. Indeed, it is truly lovely stuff, rightly influenced by slowcore (one of my favorite genres) and post-rock.
17. Tim Hecker – Incurably Optimistic
Ambient noises come together to from a happy melodic drone.
18. Do Make Say Think – Fredericia
I’ve been fortunate enough to see these guys live, they are excellent. Many people would compare them to a watered down Godspeed, but I don’t think so. They have the same citizenship as Godspeed, but they focus more on the tender side of things than the epic scale Godspeed employs.
19. Jandek – Not Even Water
A depressed Texan comes up on side and starts singing ultra-depressing stuff. Nobody in the audience knows who he is, and then he really rips into the material. By the second song, most have guessed that he is Jandek. But this first song no one knew a thing.
20. Rodan – The Everyday World of Bodies
Beginning the intense paranoia, Rodan kicks off their longest, most enraged song. Forming from the ashes of Slint, they had the pedigree, and, had they stayed together, probably could have gotten a serious following. But like so many bands in Louisville, they cut it short for reasons we’ll never know.
21. Butthole Surfers – Jimi
I am death. – Gibby Haynes. Uh, none of this song makes any sense and the guitar solo sounds like Jimi Hendrix is getting severely tortured while playing his heart out in a sewer system somewhere.
22. Royal Trux – (Edge of the) Ape Oven
The strongest track off “Twin Infinitives” they make sure the hits are directly scored. Both of them sing utter nonsense about things that may exist in their minds/reality. It is hard to tell, as their ravings and intelligent remarks sort of melt into one screed.
23. Autechre – Second Peng
Yeah, you can’t avoid Autechre for long, uncomfortably paranoid pieces. This is from their “pre-digital” era, so the sound will appeal to those who found 90s electronic better than that 00s glitch stuff. Plus, there’s a ton of empty space to get lost in.
24. Kid606 – Never Underestimate the Value of a Holla
KID606 goes insane, starts destroying all pop from 2002. Perhaps besides adoring loud, aggressive punk, he’s a secret closet fan of trashy pop hits.
25. New Order – Perfect Kiss
You should know this.
26. The Juan MacLean – Happy House
Following so close after New Order, this shows that the goofy spirit did not die, but lived on. Though it sounds so simple, the amount of detail put into it is pretty impressive, as is the multiple parts.
27. Boards of Canada – Happy Cycling
Boards of Canada are pretty much dormant right now. But when they’re hot, they’re hot. This one is from their first “official” album, and it is a real wonder. It ended the album, like it ends my mix for today.