Some people might pick Sharon Angle or Christine O’Donnell for this role. While both of those politicians are useless, there is a reason I’m sticking with Carl Paladino as the best failure. Sharon Angle didn’t give enough public statements for me to judge her enough. As for Christine O’Donnell, even Bill Maher stated that personally “she is actually really nice”. I highly doubt anybody ever considered Carl Paladino a decent or even presentable person. But his repulsion and predictable failure is somewhat humorous, so let’s go over the bigger problems:
Stupid:
Part of what made his campaign so hilarious was how easy it was to bother him. Anonymous posters on the internet could email him, calling him a ‘jackass’. Usually politicians ignore such jabs, but not Carl. Nearly everything somebody sent to him got a personal, often insensitive in some manner, response.
Revolt:
He claimed to be part of the Tax Rebellion, stating that taxes were too high. Yes, New York taxes are too high, but you’re too gross a person to actually follow. It’d be like Marquis De Sade leading the American Revolution. Being a Libertine and free of care is great and all, but whipping cats probably isn’t the way to reach that enlightenment. Sure, your ideals are noble, but you’re an asshole.
Media:
This one is the icing on the cake. Rallying against the media for a liberal bias sounds hollow when you accuse one of the most conservative papers of a bias. I’m talking about Paladino’s vendetta towards the New York Post. Threatening a photographer with a baseball bat usually doesn’t win you many followers.
As a side note, The Post usually backs any Republican candidate. In fact, before this, I didn’t know of a conservative candidate they didn’t endorse. I thought that was only possible through something seriously dark, I guess Carl fits the bill.
Opponent:
Carl’s opponent was a piece of garbage too. Cuomo only looks good once you compare him to Carl’s badness.
Baseball Bat:
This guy mentioned a baseball bat more times than any other politician combined. I’m not sure who he was really appealing to with this professed love, perhaps psychopaths who stopped taking their meds. Nah, that’s too insulting to the psychopaths. Even in his concession speech he managed to mention his “March on Albany” with the beloved baseball bat, brandishing it around. Marching from Buffalo to Albany in November can never turn out well, especially for the elderly supporters he had. Anyone my age, no matter how conservative their views, just couldn’t hold their nose tightly enough to vote for him.
There you have it, the worse politician in 2010. He overcame so many obstacles to win this, such fierce competition. But in the end, he succeeded at his attempts to be the worst human being. Take a bow sir.