America gives opportunities to so many people, both here and overseas. Each year millions come to the US to study, learn, raise a family, and contribute to our economy. However successful these people may be, they fail in comparison with the almighty Tony Danza.
Tony Danza has gone through life without learning English. It amazes me how someone who speaks a dialect foreign to nearly every other human being has been able to get ahead. Not only has he worked as a boxer (where speaking generally isn’t very important) but as an entertainer, a profession which usually requires knowledge of a pre-existing language.
Much like James Joyce’s “Finnegans Wake”, Tony speaks in a language that works with and against the English language. Occasionally he is able to be understood, but for the most part the listener only hears grunts between prepositions. Usually the listener has to try and decipher whatever emotion is coming through the grunts. In this way, one is able to at least get a feel for what message Tony is trying to convey. Perhaps this focused Tony’s mind so his television and film work could impress upon the viewer the importance of tone and body language.
His mind works poorly due to his heavy involvement in boxing as a young adult. Due to his work in that field, he only responds to the name “Tony” hence that being used for his characters’ names in much of his work from “Taxi” to “Who’s the Boss?” In both of these shows, you got the impression of a lovable, sloth-like fellow trying to keep up with his fellow man and miserably failing.
After the 1980s, apparently acting ability became the in-thing and Tony’s career suffered. Dramatic rises in TV quality in the 1990s forced Tony into a difficult situation, and he mostly earned money through being a human guinea pig for untested pharmaceutical drugs and recycling aluminum cans.
In the thick of the worst counter-insurgency of the Iraq War, Tony was given his own talk show to rally the troops. This seemed ironic, given that Tony’s greatest ability was not speaking, but the show proceeded. Upon beginning his show, the tide turned in the Iraq war, and while some attributed this success to working with local leaders, others stated it was due to Tony’s unclear but generally well-meaning message which prevented a potential civil war. Even a metal band found inspiration from him, a band called “The Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganza”.
Since Tony gave so much to the country that treated him well America decided to give even more back. Along with providing him a comfortable, upper class lifestyle they created a reality show called “Teach: Tony Danza”. This show documents the struggles others have trying to teach Tony simple tasks like making change for a dollar and how to write his name in script. At time harrowing, it is a raw look into the heavy stupidity that Tony lives each and every day. Yet, despite his obvious idiocy, he remains a good and decent person, and one who has truly achieved the American Dream. God bless you Tony Danza!