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Strangulated Beatoffs – Beating Off All Over the World 7.3

When dealing with a band like this, it should usually come with a caveat. Mine would be this (via lastsigh.com): Here are a pair of musicians, who have made a career out of living at home with their mothers, smoking pot, and playing hockey, while getting together at odd intervals to play around with samples and percussion loops. Literally, that summarizes the entire band’s mission. And if that doesn’t sound appealing, tough. They aren't here to entertain you, or do anything productive and the world is better for it. Look them up on Google and you'll realize they thrive in the online blogspot environment. Honestly, they are just too weird to ignore. 

            Coming out of Drunks with Guns and White Suburban Youth, they decided to work with the weirdest loops they could find. Then, they decided to give virtually zero concerts (the only one in 10 years entertained the audience with a video of a dancing monkey for two thirds of the show) and still have 7s that are high in demand by collectors. Plus, there is the music, filled with epic guitar solos and technical prowess. Just kidding, it is just a bunch of slackers playing with loops. 

            Exploring the Zen of endless loops of stupid samples might seem lame to many, but the Beatoffs (Stan Seitrich and Fritz Noble) have a certain fucked-up charm to their inane ramblings. Perhaps the song “What Who Me” shows off the heights they can reach. Using a guitar and bizarre whistling, it actually forms a full-fledged song (by this album’s standards). “Babysitting” is as creepy as it sounds, with bizarre laughing mixed with ambient noise. In case you weren’t sure whether or not they were sarcastic, “Bury Back” should confirm it. With possibly the lamest drum sample known to man, they then play backwards muttering to a cheesy house melody. “Oh, My Favorite” is probably the only song on Earth with that sample, like ever.

            Saint Louis hasn’t done anything for America lately, but this band more than makes up for that fact. Oddly, these guys have actually influenced people, and not in just that “stare blankly at your TV” kind of way. A band you might have heard of, Shit and Shine covers their song “Practicing to be a Doctor” on their “Jealous of Shit and Shine” album.

            Thank your lucky stars that record companies actually bothered putting this stuff out. Skin Graft, you’re in my heart forever for whatever this is.