Carles started this contest with the best of intentions: to create additional traffic so he could feed his family. Sadly, this all went horribly, unmistakably wrong for him.
It started out with some acute observations on the current state of what is considered “alternative” Halloween costumes. Focusing on Wes Anderson inspired garb, he brutally labeled each one in thick red letter saying “FAIL”. According to Carles’ exquisite taste, this sort of fakeness was something he could not tolerate. Seeing how long ago those movies came out, he figured that people ought to dress up as more relevant, more “now”.
As Carles stared blankly, looking at cars passing by as he took his daily Segue way through the desert, reflecting on humanity, he realized what he needed to do. Quickly running towards his authentic Mac Book, he immediately decided to draw up a Halloween contest, for those souls who hovered around his website like moths to the light.
The announcement stated how he would write a letter to your parents explaining you as a “person” and write a letter to a Grad School of your choice. Admissions officers all clearly have read and follow Hipster Runoff, so they would no doubt be impressed by your costume-making/personal branding skills. What shocked everyone was not just the chance to curate Hipster Runoff for a day, but to speak to and meet Carles IN PERSON AT CHILIS! Finally a chance for those who have wondered what Carles looks like but never bothered doing a basic Google image search to confirm what he looks like was given.
Over the course of the week, people submitted their costumes. Life felt good for this pioneers of the hip and trendy. As a fellow hip/trendy person, I know how sad it is to be so damn cool. Sometimes it is just difficult going to a party with a costume that’s just leagues beyond these mere plebeians. Only years later would those mounds of boring start laughing at how perfectly genius your costume really was.
Carles tried to sway the online community, saying how he was “Vibing Hard” to the Snacks the Cat character. On his influential post about which costume ought to win, he showed her picture on 8 separate occasions. Coming from the great state of Idaho, it is clear that whoever Snacks the Cat was received her culture injections purely from the internet since an authentic indie culture infrastructure is still not in place for that state. The best they have is just a Knitting Factory concert hall (in Boise), which is a step in the right direction, but not all the way there yet. Some of the commenters began to worry about the eventual picks, by cursing each other’s existence out (of particular note, Carles Sagan's breakdown).
Justice got served though. By their attempts to hack into the system, they ruined the contest. Carles’ diligent technicians/friends he gave a few bucks to were dumbfounded. Instead, they had to go by pure positive votes. They must have known the wrenching heartache that would result among the lily-livered HRO community, especially considering the controversy surrounding Snacks the Cat.
Slutty Wolf Bro was apparently the winner before the system was hacked, but afterwards she came in towards the bottom of the ten. Commenters rued this outcome, saying how they ‘banged her’ and that she was ‘sexier’ than Snacks the Cat Girl.
Even with the happy outcome for a genuinely wholesome costume, there were still a few creepers around to rain on her parade. Some stated that Carles deliberately choose it for a perfect “Human Meme” kind of feel, since it is a blog, it needs a meme. Others gave off a distinctly “pedo” feel to the proceedings. While a few more adventurous souls looked on the internet for additional pictures and age verification so they could feel more/less creepy simultaneously.
From my perspective, I’m glad the community was engaged. Though not my favorite one (I personally adored the Jerry Seinfeld one), Snacks the Cat appears to be the best informed of the bunch. By deliberately referencing the site she was trying to win on, she pretty much was assured victory by those who spend their mornings reading HRO before heading off to their un-fulfilling office jobs.
Godspeed Snacks the Cat!